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Thursday, February 14, 2008

"Hello Kitty" MMORPG, WTF?

Brace yourselves, sports fans: The Hello Kitty MMO has gone into Beta.

Good crap. Hello Kitty gets an online world of her very own, while we SCI-FI/Comic geeks have to be forever deprived of our own worlds, like the Star Trek Online MMO (scuttled when the company went belly-up) and Marvel Universe MMO (killed because Marvel's afraid of competition)? The world makes no sense; the universe has gone all flip-flop-fiddle-faddle-foo.

Even though I'm mystified by the laws of our existence that could give rise to such a creation, I do wish the creators the best of luck with this venture. I just hope that the person who's been assigned to work on the game's dialog is not the same person who was charged with drafting the press release:

In addition to the standard MMORPG features such as customizable avatars, guilds, skill systems, and player economy, some of the outstanding Hello Kitty Online features include:

  • Unique game world: a persistent, beautifully designed environment where thousands of players and NPCs live, explore and quest in a magical world with real and imaginary zones such as the Flower Kingdom, Tokyo, Paris, Moscow...
The way it's worded makes it sound like players will encounter the mundane Flower Kingdom, while simultaneously being able to delight in the mind-bending weirdness that the fictional cities of Tokyo, Paris, and Moscow have to offer. Differentiate, guys!

But, I mean, hey - if anyone's actually, ahem, gotten into the beta - and I promise I won't tell the other guys - maybe you could let me know how it is? I'm wondering what you'd actually be able to do in such a game. Surely there can't be too much sword-swinging and adventuring going on, right? It's to satisfy my curiosity, obviously. I don't, you know, er...

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