tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317793262024-03-13T07:16:25.996-04:00Blackmarket PiesIt's more than a blog; it's my blog.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-26230749952846302002010-08-01T11:06:00.022-04:002013-10-23T14:59:56.904-04:00I Can Whip Any Man in the House, and Ride any Philly in the PlaceI was watching the latest offering from DC Animation, the well-acted by ultimately predictable <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ITZBW2?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B003ITZBW2">Batman: Under the Red Hood</a></i>, when I finally got to the good stuff: the DC Showcase-branded <i><a href="http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/InstigatorGIRL/news/?a=20761">Jonah Hex</a></i> animated short. Now, what really got me in <i>Jonah Hex</i> wasn't the story or the animation, as both are derivative and stylistically similar to the 2008 release, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001614E68?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001614E68">Batman : Gotham Knight</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001614E68" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /></i>, but, rather, the few seconds prior to the film's opening.<br />
<br />
The DC Showcase brand of animated shorts feature a sort of "title sequence" which takes viewers through a comic book shop full of DC comics properties before finally settling on a book featuring the character that we're about to see in the presentation proper.<br />
<br />
And I fucking love this.<br />
<br />
In addition to being a comic book geek, I harbor a passion for <i>stuff</i>: people's stuff, businesses' stuff, all kinds of stuff. I see the mass market, modern culture, and "<a href="http://aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/consumerism.html">c</a>onsumerism" as a fascinating network of systems, inventions, and creativity all interconnected to form our modern lives. What does a person's stuff say about him? Why did he choose to buy this, or why did he <i>have</i> to buy this? We take home products as a given, when really --<br />
<br />
Well, I'm getting off topic. My point here is that the opening was far more interesting to me than the Jonah Hex short. SO, I decided to slow it down and try to see exactly which products the fine folks at DC Comics had decided to draw my attention to, and ponder the reasons why.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/TFWXQEG38YI/AAAAAAAABbI/aqpBVB2a0nc/s1600/vlcsnap-2010-08-01-11h47m44s124.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500468822139203970" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/TFWXQEG38YI/AAAAAAAABbI/aqpBVB2a0nc/s400/vlcsnap-2010-08-01-11h47m44s124.png" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 226px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<br />
As we fly through <a href="http://www.jayandsilentbob.com/">Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash</a> accompanied by some very John-Williamsy-spacey-like-twinkly music, our gaze is directed toward various properties: there's <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401213278?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1401213278">Showcase</a></i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401213278?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1401213278"> #4</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1401213278" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" />, the issue that ushered in the Silver Age of Comics with Barry Allen way back in 1956; there's an appearance of everyone's favorite BustyAirborne Lass in <a href="http://comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=6424"><span style="font-style: italic;">Showcase</span> #99</a> featuring <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1401226183?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1401226183">Power Girl</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1401226183" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" />; followed by more issues of <i>Showcase</i>, natch. There's a few <i>Showcase Presents</i> collections scattered around, including <i>The Elongated Man</i> (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fregistry%2Fwishlist%2FO2M608NXE5VU%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dcm%5Fwl%5Frlist%5Fgo&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">hint hint</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" />), <i>Ambush Bug</i>, and <i>Booster Gold</i>, and I think I even caught a glimpse of a few collections from "<a href="http://marvel.com/">the other guys</a>."<br />
<br />
And then I saw this:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/TFWRcuHOs0I/AAAAAAAABbA/4tNGT0t0PWE/s1600/vlcsnap-2010-08-01-10h58m14s53.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500462442503648066" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/TFWRcuHOs0I/AAAAAAAABbA/4tNGT0t0PWE/s400/vlcsnap-2010-08-01-10h58m14s53.png" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 226px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
May whatever heathen god you pray to bless the production intern who whipped out a copy of <i>Showcase</i> #78 to shove into the hands of COMIC SHOP PATRON #6. Everyone knows that the imagineers here at <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/">Blackmarket Pies</a> love, love, <i>love</i> the <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/03/secret-origin-of-slapstick.html">obscure</a> and the <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/search/label/Blue%20Devil">underappreciated</a>, so when I saw a character that I had never heard of before being absorbed with care and attention by a hip twenty-something, I had to jump into the fray.<br />
<br />
<i>Showcase</i> #78 features the man known as JONNY DOUBLE, whom wikipedia describes as "a down-beat Don Quixote in a society that frowns on windmills. A once white knight in rusty armor searching for that last dragon to slay. The poor man's Peter Pan."<br />
<br />
Hmmm. While very <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/140120046X?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=140120046X">British-invasion-esque</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=140120046X" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" width="1" /> for a comic from 1968, it sure doesn't explain a whole lot. Sort of sounds like <a href="http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Thomas_Tresser_%28New_Earth%29">Nemesis</a> as written by Peter Milligan.<br />
<br />
You all know what this means, lads: it's time to dig deeper into the cavernous bowels of the DC Unvierse and discover exactly who Jonny Double is, and why he came to be (hint: <i>Chinatown</i> had been released four years prior, and <i>The Fugivtive</i> had just endd its run). But that'll have to wait until I actually find a copy of <i>Showcase</i> #78. For now, it may be back to the unicorn well...BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-56202836967238779122010-04-28T21:47:00.001-04:002010-04-28T21:51:56.523-04:00Riddles<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9jmLNY7y1I/AAAAAAAABaQ/O9qp4i1shxo/s1600/last_unicorn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9jmLNY7y1I/AAAAAAAABaQ/O9qp4i1shxo/s320/last_unicorn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465371228061289298" /></a><br /><br />What could it mean?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-25231129991243354042010-04-22T15:59:00.013-04:002013-10-23T15:05:29.199-04:00The Return of the Cap'nI've written about <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1600104436?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1600104436">Captain Canuck</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1600104436" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> before -- check out my entire <i>week</i> of <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/search/label/Captain%20Canuck">Canadian goodness here</a> -- and I think you get the idea that I'm absolutely enamored with the idea of a National Canadian Superhero, a comic book character who can somehow boil down to essentials what it means to be Canadian. And, like our comic counterparts to the south, this is true -- only backward. Captain Canuck was patterned to represent Canadian values, and now he's used as proof of those values, in some kind of twisted Disneyworld logic: if Captain Canuck is supposed to represent Canada, and Captain Canuck is "A," then Canada must be "A," as well -- even if the initial premise is incorrect. Captain Canuck was first created by Richard Comely in order to bring together the disparate visions of what a Canadian actually <i>was</i>, and the series tried to foist a Canadian mythos onto the popular culture of the Great White North, much as Canadian Nationalist ideas tried to do back in 1967, with the rise of Expo '67 and the ill-fated "Chimo" greeting. In the irony that we often find ourselves faced with today, the significant replaced the signifier; i.e. the symbol gave meaning to what was being symbolized.<br />
<br />
But that's a story for another day. Because today, we have a story that couldn't possibly be tied to traditional, or even subversive, Canadian values. Unless, of course, Canadians are big on aliens that look like wads of splooge:<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9C09eGwGwI/AAAAAAAABZY/uN7JUUKRmI8/s1600/cc15_00_ofc.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463065316146813698" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9C09eGwGwI/AAAAAAAABZY/uN7JUUKRmI8/s320/cc15_00_ofc.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 219px;" /></a><br />
Yes, this is the story of Captain Canuck's unpublished fifteenth issue. Written and drawn before CKR Productions folded under the absurd conditions of the Canadian publishing industry, this issue would have seen the light of day if Comely and Co had succeeded in their scheeme to sell shares of the "Captain Canuck Corporation" to eager northern kids itching for a fix of down-home superheroics. Sadly, Captain Canuck, though wildly popular, could not make enough money to stay afloat, and the story of "The Stygian" -- <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/03/descent-into-darkness-review-of-chaos.html">no relation to the <i>other</i> Stygian</a> -- would be denied to the kids of the 1970/80's.<br />
<br />
Written by creator Richard Comely and the last Canuck issue to be illustrated by George Freeman, the story takes place after Tom Evans -- the good Captain's secret identity -- has been stranded in the "present" of the 1980's following an alien encounter in his future of 1993. In the dead of winter in Calgary, Captain Canuck has taken to construction work to support himself as he, presumably, tries to find a way back to his time. A fellow worker discovers a discarded purse, and, Canadian of upstanding character that he is, Mr Evans heads out to return it to its rightful owner. <img alt="" src="file:///C:/Users/owner/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png" /><br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DZa7xZh6I/AAAAAAAABZg/fwzd1PfA9nE/s1600/cc15b.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463105404745123746" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DZa7xZh6I/AAAAAAAABZg/fwzd1PfA9nE/s320/cc15b.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 196px;" /></a><br />
Discovering that the purse belongs to a missing woman, he acts on a hunch -- literally, as there is <i>nothing</i> in the comic to indicate exactly <i>where</i> he gets the idea to go traipsing about government labs -- and visits the offices of the Stabler Research Group, where he comes face to face with every Canadian's arch nemesis: the locked door.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DaPGdTgOI/AAAAAAAABZo/084Xmy-ZoRs/s1600/cc15c.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463106300966830306" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DaPGdTgOI/AAAAAAAABZo/084Xmy-ZoRs/s320/cc15c.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 201px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a>On the other side of the door are a group of scientists whose names and personalities are of absolutely no consequence. What <i>does</i> matter is what they've inadvertantly created: THE STYGIAN!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DavN4yo-I/AAAAAAAABZw/0vxmR9SHqco/s1600/stygian1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463106852716979170" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DavN4yo-I/AAAAAAAABZw/0vxmR9SHqco/s320/stygian1.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 160px;" /></a>Part being of pure energy, part being of melty-cheese, the Stygian must feed off of the energy of people and electronics to survive. Other than this survival imperative, we don't know much about ol' Styg', but you can bet that if he does this to Captain Canuck:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DbOXMYEsI/AAAAAAAABZ4/7tLHDyC6_a4/s1600/no.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463107387790987970" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DbOXMYEsI/AAAAAAAABZ4/7tLHDyC6_a4/s320/no.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 314px;" /></a>then he's no damn good in my book.<br />
<br />
Canukc, knowing <i>nothing</i> about the type science fiction aliens that he's battled for most of his life, inadvertantly lets the creature loose upon an unsuspecting Stampede City, where it's assumed that he passed up the great untapped potential energy of cow pats, instead settling on the lethargic energy of your average Canadian citizen. After a thrilling* chase throughout downtown Alberta, Canuck seems to be on the brink of finishing the creature off with a good whack on the side of the head with a manhole cover:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9Dch6mPwwI/AAAAAAAABaA/1yyCCj8Dal4/s1600/cc15_15.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463108823223878402" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9Dch6mPwwI/AAAAAAAABaA/1yyCCj8Dal4/s320/cc15_15.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 217px;" /></a>Unfortunately for the <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/04/great-moments-in-mounties-less-than.html">reputations of the boys in blue everywhere</a>, the assault is interrupted by a group of vigilant police officers, who are far too focused on arresting the man in the arresting pajamas, and not the being of limitless power looming over him.<br />
<br />
Our story ends with the Stygian getting away, and the poor boys and girls of 2004 (when this story was finally released to fans for the first time) are left on another cliffhanger that has yet to be resolved. But those aren't the only mysteries we're left pondering; I've got a few questions myself: for one, how does a being created from pure energy succumb to being smacked in thr skull with a steel plate? For two, can anyone in Calgary tell me what these terrifying, lanky giants in the background of this panel are supposed to be?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DeFEczEyI/AAAAAAAABaI/6oH9YkY81o8/s1600/theymightbegiants.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463110526675653410" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S9DeFEczEyI/AAAAAAAABaI/6oH9YkY81o8/s320/theymightbegiants.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 246px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
I'm going to assume they're some kind of artwork, and not, say, the Stygian's terrifying compadres.<br />
<br />
Well, there it is -- the last, unreleased issue of the original run of Captain Canuck, killed in its prime by the realities of publishing in Canada. It wasn't lack of interest or sales that did Canuck in -- in 1979, the Captain was the highest selling comic book in all of Canada, as related in <i>Captain Canuck</i> #7, and you can tell from the panels I've reproduced here that Freeman's art was pretty great for an independent book in the late 1970's (or hell, for a comic book <i>period</i>). No, Canada's first and greatest superhero was deep-sixed by a government that, while claiming to value Canadian content, actually created conditions that were anathema to the continued existence of a true Canadian hero.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-67786218285697216892010-04-21T00:49:00.003-04:002010-04-21T00:51:36.085-04:00UpdatesWhile there <i>probably</i> aren't too many return visitors these days, I just want to tell that one Google bot out there that I am planning to update this week with -- well, something special. So keep checking back. I haven't forgotten about you, Google bot.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-36362854478184609102010-04-17T17:35:00.003-04:002010-04-17T17:40:01.484-04:00THE FLIGHT OF THE BOUNCY, BOUNCY PHOENIXOooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah y'all. Guess what, sports fans?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S8oqBS3PrtI/AAAAAAAABZQ/iZjwVVmULk8/s1600/avengers-academy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/S8oqBS3PrtI/AAAAAAAABZQ/iZjwVVmULk8/s320/avengers-academy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461223699871936210" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/04/16/speedball-gives-up-gimp-suit-for-avengers-academy-c2e2/">SPEEDBALL'S BACK</a><br /><br />If this is possible, then, pray, what other wonders might find their way back into my life?<br /><br />Believe it.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-65636488098600314382010-03-28T13:33:00.010-04:002010-03-28T17:43:33.339-04:00Blackmarket Books: Carter Beats the DevilI've been on such a kick for the early twentieth century lately. Whether it's the history of the early comics industry, or just the aesthetic of art deco architecture, I've been just eating this shit up. Which brings me to my first post on this humble blog in just about 2 years: my recent fascination with the big, flashy stage magicians of the aforementioend era.<br /><br /><i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0786886323?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0786886323">Carter Beats the Devil</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0786886323" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></i> follows in the tradition of books like <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312282990?ie=UTF8&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0312282990">The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0312282990" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /></i>. Oddly enough, they were both published in 2001. <i>Carter</i> tells the tale of Charles Carter III as he grows into a world class, headlining illusonist from the humble beginnings of a travelling show performer working alongside such acts as a dramatic monologist and an immigrant couple who use barnyard animals as musical instruments.<br /><br />Like <i>Kavalier</i>, <i>Carter</i> is firmly embedded into the culture of the era. Gold weaves characters and events from the time -- like Houdini, the Marx Brothers, and the 1904 San Francisco earthquake -- into the life of Carter the Great effortlessly, without making it feel as if he's simply name-dropping.<br /><br />In fact, I would even rate <i>Carter</i> higher than <i>Kavalier</i> at this point: Chabon seemed to let the plot drive his characters more toward the end. He also handled his characters with kid gloves, allowing them some measure fo power against the publishing giants of the day, in contrast to actual conditions for writers/artists at the time -- the only comic book creator to actually get any respect was, ironically, Bob Kane, because he had the pull necessary to play hardball -- even when he was using ghosts most of the time! Carter, on the other hand, must struggle and suffer through the "minor leagues" of magic before he can get anywhere, and even then, he requires the self-interested assistance of Harry Houdini before he can rise up the ladder.<br /><br />I'm not quite finished the thing yet, but, so far, everything's looking good. I can only hope that he doesn't flop after the half-way point like Chabon seemed to do with <i>Kavalier</i>.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-71773223977308771932008-04-29T19:32:00.003-04:002008-04-29T20:46:36.548-04:00Giddy UpA lot of the JLI members complained about their boss riding them all the time...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBewXxZGqAI/AAAAAAAAA7o/P42O43eHkQo/s1600-h/mlrcab.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBewXxZGqAI/AAAAAAAAA7o/P42O43eHkQo/s400/mlrcab.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194814617637267458" border="0" /></a><br />but clearly, Captain Atom got the worst of it.<br /><br />(See Max Lord ride bitch on Captain Atom in the <i>Invasion!</i> crossover from 1988, <i><a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=9679">Captain Atom</i> #24</a>.)BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-77607574282619776062008-04-27T15:24:00.004-04:002008-04-27T15:37:42.546-04:00Complain About Spider-man 3 and Superman Returns All You Want......because when it comes right down to it, this hemisphere gets the best when it comes to licensing deals.<br /><br /><br />Behold:<br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/f5Pjo0WjBcs&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/f5Pjo0WjBcs&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Bonus question: Is it better than <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FGhost-Rider-Widescreen-Matt-Long%2Fdp%2FB000OVLBF8%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Ddvd%26qid%3D1209324539%26sr%3D8-1&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">Ghost Rider</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /></i>?<br /><br />(HT: <a href="http://www.geekpress.com/2008/04/bollywood-link-of-day-indian-version-of.html">GeekPress</a>)BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-84406291470180637422008-04-27T00:33:00.009-04:002008-04-27T02:49:47.042-04:00Great Moments in Mounties: Less-Than-Model Behaviour From the Men in Red (Captain Canuck, Vol. 1 #3)Yeah, alright, I'm up, I'm up. What day is it? Sunday? Oh, good, I didn't sleep through the weekend - wait, what? <i>Next</i> Sunday? Aw, crap.<br /><br />So, yes, I may have overslept a tad, and neglected this fine blog for almost a week now, but you should have realized that I would never give up trying to achieve immortality via the internet so abruptly - not without a well-reasoned excuse, anyway.<br /><br />The last time we looked into the proud tradition of Mounties in Comic Books, we saw <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/04/great-moments-in-mounites-batman-223.html">Batman and Rob battling evil Quebecois in service of an apparent summer camp for RCMP personnel</a>. Tonight, we'll learn that there's no guarantee that the Men of the Mounted will be portrayed authentically even when the comic comes from the northern side of the border - <i>Captain Canuck</i> #3 is our principal piece of evidence in making that case. I previously published a week-long-ish tribute to the Captain (and his many wacky merchandising schemes) that you can look over <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/11/captain-canuck-week-introducing-captain.html">here</a>.<br /><br />Let's recap a little: in 1975, Richard Comely and Ron Leishman would sense a hole in the market where a patriotic Canadian superhero should have been, and so they set about self-publishing <i>Captain Canuck</i>, a comic book series following the adventures of Canada's top C.I.S.O. agent as he foils plans by Commies and other new-world-order-types to usurp Canada's true place as a natural-resource-fueled super-power. Despite solid popularity, costs for such an independent book were high, and the company could not continue publishing <i>Canuck</i> at a price that was competitive with imported American superheroes, and only 14 issues could be released sporadically from 1975 to 1982 until Captain Canuck ultimately folded. He would return three more times (or more, depending on where you happened to live) between 1993 and 2005, but the general decline in comic book sales, coupled with poor distribution and the constantly shifting creative directions of Captain Canuck's copyright holder (the views expressed in his 1982 magazine, <i>Star Rider and the Peace Machine</i>, are not exactly what we would call "marketable") would defeat the Captain in every one of his attempts.<br /><br />So, that's Captain Canuck.<br /><br />Now, meet Captain Canuck in his formative years.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQgNhZGp6I/AAAAAAAAA64/I58vKNGrU7c/s1600-h/cc3-cvr.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQgNhZGp6I/AAAAAAAAA64/I58vKNGrU7c/s400/cc3-cvr.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193811686939076514" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As <i>Captain Canuck</i> #3 opens, the oddly-inked eponymous hero is working with his fellow C.I.S.O. officers, the super duo known as "Redcoat and Kebec" (Redcoat is in red, Kebec is stuck with the colours of the flag of his namesake), as the crack security organization moves in to arrest a "crooked MP," Rosechuk. This issue never reveals exactly what Rosechuk - or "Rosey," as his criminal buddies like to call him - is up to, but one thing is certain: the Canada of alternate-1993 (the "future" portrayed in the series) must have one <i>hell</i> of a penalty for corruption, since he escapes the clutches of C.I.S.O. using this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQgmxZGp7I/AAAAAAAAA7A/ptOOo_lsyZ8/s1600-h/cc3-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQgmxZGp7I/AAAAAAAAA7A/ptOOo_lsyZ8/s400/cc3-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193812120730773426" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><i>a skyscraper cum missile silo</i>.<br /><br />Although Captain Canuck is the second-greatest Canadian bad-ass - pulling just ahead of William Shatner, but slightly behind <a href="http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=134615">that Prime Minister who held conversations with his dead dog </a>- he is, in fact, vulnerable to a rocket's flaming exhaust, and must be transported to a hospital to be treated. This is where we have our first glimpse at the Mounties of the Future (TM), who are dressed more sensibly, if not more Judge-Dreddy. That's where any dignity the Mounties might have been given in this comic stays, though, because we're barely given six pages until eeeevil Mounties show up in full Musical-Ride regalia.<br /><br />The dark RCMP officers are there to kidnap the Cap'n, because their boss, crooked MP Rosey, wants to make sure that C.I.S.O. doesn't have any information on his source of funding... and... uh... is that a pitcher of urine next to the Captain's bed?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQg_xZGp8I/AAAAAAAAA7I/aL3-Torl1bI/s1600-h/cc3-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQg_xZGp8I/AAAAAAAAA7I/aL3-Torl1bI/s400/cc3-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193812550227503042" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Huh. Strange thing to keep there.<br /><br />Bodily fluids aside, <i>another</i> villain has gotten word that Captain Canuck is in the hospital, and he's dispatched his own people - another kidnapping squad, determined to find out who Captain Canuck really is, and then to hold him hostage for the mysterious Mr. Gold. The two abductors, one a doctor turned informant named Borden, the other a professional named Wilby, get into the hospital room by posing as doctors. As they're preparing the Captain, the two faux-RCMP officers arrive with orders to move Captain Canuck to another hospital - "for security reasons." Captain Canuck asks his maker for a little strength, but it's really the collision of two thugs' greed that allows him to take advantage and kick some fake Mountie ass.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQhbxZGp9I/AAAAAAAAA7Q/hAGqOoJ43QY/s1600-h/cc3-3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SBQhbxZGp9I/AAAAAAAAA7Q/hAGqOoJ43QY/s400/cc3-3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193813031263840210" border="0" /></a><br /><br />With a little unexpected help from "Dr." Wilby, the Captain is perfectly fine. But the thug in the scrubs has apparently come prepared, because he whips out what appears to be RCMP identification. Oy vey, another false Mountie! Is <i>anyone</i> in the RCMP really who they claim to be?<br /><br />As the story comes to a close, the Captain and the pretty nurse who was so intent on getting him naked are herded into an ambulance the evil "Dr. Wilby," where the good doctor immediately degenerates into a third-rate Dick Tracy villain, throwing out enough "sweethearts," condescending adjectives, and demented laughs to fill a graphic novel written by Frank Miller.<br /><br />Oh boy! I wonder how the Captain will get out of this one! I'm a little kid in 1975, and I'm overwrought with anticipation! I just can't wait to look for <i>Captain Canuck</i> #4 on the news-stands next month! But I do wait. And I wait. And I wait some more. Because this is when Captain Canuck dies for the first time. Captain Canuck fans had to wait until <i>1979</i> to get the ending to this story. What the crap, Canada? First you give me stereotypical Mounties, and then you make me wait 4 years to read the ending of <i>Captain Canuck #3</i>? Egad. <a href="http://yetanothercomicsblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/late-shipping-hall-of-shame.html">If that happened today, I don't know how anyone would be able to stand for it</a>.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-71028175604954977912008-04-20T16:32:00.002-04:002008-04-20T16:39:39.716-04:00Cyberdyne Systems Presents...Caring for your infant harbinger of death.<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_IpU4nYz15w&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_IpU4nYz15w&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object>BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-8423321927957816532008-04-18T21:01:00.002-04:002008-04-18T21:04:05.594-04:00Elseworlds<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlEoFaDyhI/AAAAAAAAA6o/STnNHQcrPEc/s1600-h/0maxman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlEoFaDyhI/AAAAAAAAA6o/STnNHQcrPEc/s400/0maxman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190755500958140946" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlE0FaDyiI/AAAAAAAAA6w/QVO2kEnbZl4/s1600-h/omaxman2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlE0FaDyiI/AAAAAAAAA6w/QVO2kEnbZl4/s400/omaxman2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190755707116571170" border="0" /></a>BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-12742750706860801412008-04-18T20:07:00.003-04:002008-04-18T20:57:53.000-04:00Friday Night Fights: Classic EditionIt's been too long, <a href="http://bahlactus.com/2008/04/fnf-classic-rnd1/">Bahlactus</a> - the crowd is restless - they hunger for blood...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlDX1aDygI/AAAAAAAAA6g/9yzBGcljDXs/s1600-h/0sammaxstopthat.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAlDX1aDygI/AAAAAAAAA6g/9yzBGcljDXs/s400/0sammaxstopthat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190754122273638914" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It's just too bad that the only black & white comics I have access to right now are in this old Sam & Max book. Oh well - violence is violence. <a href="http://bahlactus.com/2008/04/fnf-classic-rnd1/">RING THE DAMN BELL!</a>BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-15970282199734200082008-04-17T20:01:00.005-04:002008-04-17T20:42:34.933-04:00Top Five Reasons Why "All New Atom" Should Not Be Canceled1 - Gail Simone's not dead. She could still come back and write it - if we asked nicely enough.<br /><br />2 - <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/09/five-reasons-why-all-new-atom-rocks.html">Head Have Not Have Conquered English Into Submission</a>.<br /><br />3 - What else are the "Lighter Than Air Society" going to do with their time?<br /><br />4 - This comic used to be pure, concentrated fun. Where am I supposed to get that now that Rogers is leaving <i>Blue Beetle</i>? <i>Wonder Woman</i>?<br /><br />5 - It hasn't even been around long enough to lose the "All New" part of its name.<br /><br />Don't get the references? Then pick up the All-New Atom <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FAll-New-Atom-Book-Future-Past%2Fdp%2F1401215688%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1208478870%26sr%3D8-3&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">TPB's</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" />, and show DC how greatly we all want more Head.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-57849887181318987492008-04-15T22:20:00.020-04:002008-04-17T01:20:50.295-04:00Great Moments in Mounties: Batman #223The Mountie: a red-coated, steel-willed, horse-riding, Stetson-wearing hero who can track a man across a thousand miles of untamed wilderness, only stopping to wrestle the occasional Grizzly bear, and inform you politely that your tail-light is out, but he’ll let you off with a warning for now if you promise to have it fixed before you return to Canada on your next trip. At least, that’s the image that Hollywood has given the great Canadian police officer for much of the past hundred years.<br /><br />The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or the North-west Mounted Police as they were known when they were originally founded, were formed in the 19th century to establish order in the wild and untamed north-west territories of Canada. The Mounties were famous for, allegedly, never having to draw their guns in order to do their jobs. Today, the RCMP is the largest police force in Canada, functioning much like the FBI/ATF does in America, but also performing front-line police work in the smaller or more remote communities that don't have police forces of their own.<br /><br />Hollywood seemed obsessed with the Mounties at one point. The movies portrayed them as stalwart trackers, relentless in their pursuit of justice. In Pierre Burton's <i>Hollywood's Canada</i>, he describes the American view of our red-clad police force as "supermen, free of normal human appetites when on the trail of their man." This even contributed to the common error that the motto of the force is "We always get our man:" in actuality, the motto is "Defending the Right," which, to me at least, sounds a hell of a lot cooler.<br /><br />Of course, Hollywood got it all wrong. For one, their mounties wore ridiculous-looking fur hats sometimes, and they could never really get the look of the Stetson right. More egregious errors included Mounties shooting first and not bothering to ask any questions, and a scene in <i>McKenna of the Mounted</i> (a lot of movies were called "-- of the Mounted") where an officer is discharged from the service and ceremonially whipped as a result.<br /><br />And today, Mounties are still portrayed as ceaseless do-gooders who always wear their red dress uniforms, even though they're equipped pretty much like your average police officer - that means no funny hat (for the most part), and a bullet-proof vest on occasion.<br /><br />This poor characterization isn't limited to movies, naturally. Comic books, those purveyors of only the highest quality entertainment, have contributed their fair share of misconceptions about the RCMP. I hope to have this as a regular feature, but like my other "features," "<a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/09/comics-that-have-pissed-me-off-issue-1.html">Comics That Have Pissed Me Off</a>" and "<a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/11/ongoing-adventures-of-ronald-reagan.html">The Continuing Adventures of Ronald Reagan</a>," installments may be sporadic at best - especially considering that Mounties haven't been especially popular in pop culture for a few decades now, showing up only to be lampooned in media like <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=S_MekEkCm2E"><i>Dudley Do Right</i></a> and <i><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FDue-South-Season-4-DVD-Digipack%2Fdp%2FB000A0GY0K%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Ddvd%26qid%3D1207193242%26sr%3D8-1&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">Due South</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /></span></i>. I've already got enough for at least two posts, so I think I'm ahead of the curve as it is.<br /><br />One comic that has not helped the RCMP to shake their mythical reputation was <i><a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=53458">Batman</a></i><a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=53458"> #223</a>, a "Giant Batman." Don't get too excited; it's just an over-sized issue of the book, it doesn't contain any of those fantastic appearances of an <i>actual</i> <a href="http://bullyscomics.blogspot.com/2008/01/ten-of-kind-batmans-big-yeah-yeah-yeah.html">giant Batman</a>. I like to call this issue "Multinational Batman," because it features the fascinating gimmick of "Batman and Robin Face Danger Around the World!"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RTqmxHCwI/AAAAAAAAA3U/wySG9QyR1cw/s1600-h/53458_20060730180921_large.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RTqmxHCwI/AAAAAAAAA3U/wySG9QyR1cw/s400/53458_20060730180921_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184861062436424450" border="0" /></a><br />Although there are other stories of stereotypical hilarity within this tome, we're only interested in the wintry scene from the cover: Crime in Canada, a <a href="http://www.macleans.ca/canada/national/article.jsp?content=20080312_110944_110944">concept so shocking</a> that Batman himself had to investigate.<br /><br />The story is really titled - any guesses? - "Batman <i>of the Mounties</i>." And right from the get-go, I'm somewhat less than optimistic that this story will be free of the misconceptions and bad generalizations that have plagued the movies:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RVLWxHCxI/AAAAAAAAA3c/81Kw3Uv8JT8/s1600-h/gethisman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RVLWxHCxI/AAAAAAAAA3c/81Kw3Uv8JT8/s400/gethisman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184862724588768018" border="0" /></a><br />Sigh. Well, let's get on with it.<br /><br />"Batman of the Mounties" follows the caped crusader as he ventures into the frozen north (strong and free, dontcha know) to capture the wicked LeClerc brothers, another bad trope of bad Mountie movies. Didn't you know that French-Canadians were evil?<br /><br />Anyway, we open on an idyllic scene: the Mounties are apparently attending summer camp up in the Northwest, and they can barely contain their excitement when they see the fabled Batplane fly overhead. Boy, is there gonna be an awkward moment when Robin realizes this particular RCMP detachment (which seems to include slightly over 6000 officers) actually intended for someone else to accompany the Caped Crusader:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAWY1laDyTI/AAAAAAAAA48/0cueaX-eTTM/s1600-h/batmanandrob.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAWY1laDyTI/AAAAAAAAA48/0cueaX-eTTM/s400/batmanandrob.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5189722191956265266" border="0" /></a>I mean, they already had a red tunic sized for Rob. Now what are they gonna do with it?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAWZWlaDyUI/AAAAAAAAA5E/9FeoLYCEPkU/s1600-h/whitehoods.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAWZWlaDyUI/AAAAAAAAA5E/9FeoLYCEPkU/s400/whitehoods.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5189722758891948354" border="0" /></a>Aw, that's okay, guys. They already brought formal wear anyway. They also took along their "trees and rocks" uniform just in case they were to get stranded in Vancouver, and their leather uniforms just in case they... well, you know.<br /><br />The Dynamic Duo have arranged to teach the Mounties their previously chronicled <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/04/unique-crime-fighting-methods.html">unique crime-fighting methods</a> as a part of "National Law Enforcement Week," which is when we up in the Great White get off our asses and actually attempt to enforce a few laws for seven days - well, it's more like six because we don't open on Sundays.<br /><br />Unfortunately, just as Batman & Rob begin to demonstrate how to apprehend rambunctious squirrels...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAaCJVaDyVI/AAAAAAAAA5M/DR4Ns1fZ-7o/s1600-h/uniqcfm2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAaCJVaDyVI/AAAAAAAAA5M/DR4Ns1fZ-7o/s400/uniqcfm2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5189978717467953490" border="0" /></a>... one of the Mounties sets off in his ceremonial best - riding a horse because Canucks have yet to master the art of paving - in order to capture those dastardly Quebecois, the LeClerc brothers! The bros. have broken out of prison (but we just call it Quebec), and are headed the Mounties' way! Why, surely they could just wait for the idiots to pass by the massive encampent of police officers, right? Or maybe let Batman handle it? Nope, it's a much better idea to send "Bob" (actual Mountie name) off, on his own, with only a horse and the RCMP tradition not to ever draw his gun, to try to capture <i>two armed and dangerous francophones</i>. Bob Kane, or whoever really wrote "Batman of the Mounties," has apparently never heard of the Montreal Mafia.<br /><br />Sadly, Bob's mission meets a sticky end, having to wheeze out a staccato speech to Batman and Robin as they find him dying in the snow. I don't think the way he's speaking his due to any distress, he might just not have learned how to use articles. Or he could have brain damage, I guess, because he insists on making Batman a deputy Mountie:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbKzFaDyWI/AAAAAAAAA5U/S0sdEkzXZ_Y/s1600-h/sense.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbKzFaDyWI/AAAAAAAAA5U/S0sdEkzXZ_Y/s400/sense.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190058599564691810" border="0" /></a><br />And forgive me for being presumptuous enough to question a "master crime-fighter," but in <i>which</i> universe does that make even one iota of sense, Batman? Robin isn't even old enough to drive a car, and you're letting him fly a goddamn super-sonic plane? And where would that thing even land out in the wilderness? There's too many trees to build a runway. And <i>why</i> would you have to become a Mountie in order to catch some bad guys? You've been doing it freelance for <i>years</i>, you crazy loon.<br /><br />Well, questionable actions aside, Batman - who doesn't don the Stetson, so I wouldn't call him a real Mountie, anyway - sets off across the frozen wastes of Canada, following the trail of the most devious French killers around. And he gets to show off some of those "unique crime-fighting methods" again, this time wasting resources and putting distance between him and the LeClercs because, hey, walking sucks:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbMllaDyXI/AAAAAAAAA5c/HdpJM8-LmcY/s1600-h/walkingishard.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbMllaDyXI/AAAAAAAAA5c/HdpJM8-LmcY/s400/walkingishard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190060566659713394" border="0" /></a><br />I don't want to get into posting every panel of this obvious masterpiece, but some of this crap is just too absurd to leave uncommented upon. The very next panel after "wind-surfer Batman..."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbNJlaDyYI/AAAAAAAAA5k/RCP781RkWWI/s1600-h/trees.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbNJlaDyYI/AAAAAAAAA5k/RCP781RkWWI/s400/trees.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190061185135004034" border="0" /></a>...sees the great detective not even considering that he may unknowingly following the path of, I don't know, <i>a bear</i>, instead of the criminals. Thanks to his little ice-surfing escapade, anything could have ripped the needles off of that tree while the LeClercs were half-way to Regina.<br /><br />Then, the Mounties have the balls to say this to Robin when he comes back with the half-corpse of Mountie Bob:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbOLlaDyZI/AAAAAAAAA5s/vXj4ascAtKY/s1600-h/advice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbOLlaDyZI/AAAAAAAAA5s/vXj4ascAtKY/s400/advice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190062319006370194" border="0" /></a>O RLY? You, the genius who sent one guy and a horse after the LeClercs not five pages ago has suddenly decreed that they're too dangerous For even <i>Batman</i> to handle alone? I must say, our men in red aren't being given a good shake in this story.<br /><br />Personally, I hope this is what he had in mind when he talked about sending "men" with them, though:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbO5laDyaI/AAAAAAAAA50/MZEg7uchAiU/s1600-h/bear_calvary.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbO5laDyaI/AAAAAAAAA50/MZEg7uchAiU/s400/bear_calvary.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190063109280352674" border="0" /></a><br />Yeah, we've got 'em up here.<br /><br />The men of the Mounted Bear Patrol , unfortunately, can't waste their time tracking down the LeClercs because of a disaster in what I assume has to be a nearby town, so it's up to Robin (!) to catch up (!!) with Batman and take the evil Frenchmen down without help.<br /><br />But I mean,really - when you've got a man who wastes as much time as Batman does building surf boards and changing clothes, manages to catch up with the bad guys, and then stops when he's being shot at to make a set of fuckin' skis (nevermind why his "snow" suit didn't come with snowshoes), you don't really need all that much help anyway, I reckon.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbQ_laDybI/AAAAAAAAA58/sm4rkfgon0E/s1600-h/skipatrol.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbQ_laDybI/AAAAAAAAA58/sm4rkfgon0E/s400/skipatrol.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190065411382823346" border="0" /></a><br />After what is ridiculously called "one of the weirdest fights ever," which involved balancing on logs cut down by an invisible logging company and floating in the river, Batman and Robin have finally apprehended the LeClerc brothers! But it's not quite time for a round of whiskey and vodka, as the LeClercs have a few tricks up their sleeves:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbTO1aDycI/AAAAAAAAA6E/ohzqlyVmO8A/s1600-h/zleclerctrick.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbTO1aDycI/AAAAAAAAA6E/ohzqlyVmO8A/s400/zleclerctrick.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190067872399083970" border="0" /></a>Which must lead to an exercise in Criminal Logic (TM):<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbTu1aDydI/AAAAAAAAA6M/2E6NnEUjMas/s1600-h/zlogic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbTu1aDydI/AAAAAAAAA6M/2E6NnEUjMas/s400/zlogic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190068422154897874" border="0" /></a> thus preserving the status quo - provided that the status quo includes guys who've managed to foil the plans of psychotic clowns being duped by two backwoods thugs who could probably find a way to rationalize robbing a bank without taking any money.<i> "No, mon frere! The money would make us a target! We will take zees artificial potted plants, instead! Zen we get away scot free! And grab zome pens while you're over zer!"</i><br /><br />Don't worry - Batman and Robin "always get their man," even if it involves the unlikely scenario of Batman pulling the RCMP insignia that Constable Bob gave him out of his utility belt.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbVr1aDyeI/AAAAAAAAA6U/-3Nch2mKIhE/s1600-h/zscrape.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/SAbVr1aDyeI/AAAAAAAAA6U/-3Nch2mKIhE/s400/zscrape.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190070569638545890" border="0" /></a>You know, the utility belt that the criminals made sure to remove so he couldn't come up with any tricks. That's okay, Bob - I know this story had a lot of twists to keep track of. Sometimes Batman comics are so complicated that you just can't remember what happened a scant two panels ago, especially if doing so would mean that Batman pulled that insignia <i>right out of his ass.</i> I would have just ended this comic after the fight on the floating logs, but then again, I've never been paid by the page.<br /><br />So there ya go: Batman of the Mounties, our first look at Mounties in the comics. They might not have come out looking quite so good in this one, but not even Batman could manage that.<br /><br /><hr /><br /><br />Fun Mountie Trivia: when Michael Moore made <i>Canadian Bacon</i> in 1995, he avoided <a href="http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CEEDE133CF937A35751C0A963958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all">paying the brave men and women of one of our finest institutions licensing fees</a> for the use of "Royal Canadian Mounted Police" by calling his Mounties "Royal Mounted Canadian Police." Dude wasn't even trying.<br /><br />The makers of <i>Dudley Do-Right</i> similarly avoided helping out the force when they purposely gave the titular hero the wrong uniform insignia - of course, that could always be rationalized by saying that they didn't want to denigrate the RCMP with their portrayal of the bumbling officer, but how many people actually know what RCMP signage is supposed to look like anyway? Certainly Bob Kane can't be counted among them.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-2138746304606506932008-04-12T13:14:00.003-04:002008-04-12T14:04:49.018-04:00Showcase Presents: The Essential Filler PostIt's been a sparse week from me on the blogging front, but hey - a man's gotta eat, and I'm sure you're all well aware of how well blogging pays.<br /><br />On that acknowledgment, today's not going to be a big break from the past week's lack of presence, because I just wanted to make a list of all the trade paperbacks of comics that I (hint, hint, Big Two) would kill to see on store shelves (or at least hidden away in some darkened corner of the Amazon.com warehouse). I was spurred to do this after noticing that there were enough "d-list" series and characters getting trades that seem to indicate that it's becoming decreasingly unlikely that we would ever see my favorite obscurities in a compact book-shelf worthy tome. For example, was there really all that much of a clamoring for the Phantom Stranger/Ronald Reagan epic from 1987, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FPhantom-Stranger-Heart%2Fdp%2F1401219365%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1208021858%26sr%3D1-2&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">Heart of a Stranger</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /></i>? I mean, besides from this corner of the internet?<br /><br />And hey, after I'm done, why don't <i>you</i> drop me a comment and tell me what your dream trades are?<br /><br />DC Comics:<br /><blockquote><b>Shade, The Changing Man, Volume 1</b> [including <i>Shade</i>#1-8 (1977), plus the missing story from "Cancelled Comics Calvacade"]<br /><b>Showcase Presents: Blue Beetle, Volume 1</b> [the original DC debut of Ted Kord from 1986]<br /><b>Showcase Presents: Blue Devil</b><br /><b>Showcase Presents: Captain Atom</b><br /><b>Showcase Presents: The Creeper</b><br /><b>The Hawk and the Dove, Volume 1</b> [featuring <a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/issue.php?ID=6400"><i>Showcase</i> #75</a> and <a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/title.php?ID=9534"><i>The Hawk and the Dove</i> #1-6 from 1968</a>]<br /><b><a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/11/ongoing-adventures-of-ronald-reagan.html">Showcase Presents: The Best of Ronald Reagan</a></b><br /></blockquote><br /><br />Marvel Comics:<br /><blockquote><b>The Essential Alpha Flight</b> [yeah, I know they've got <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FAlpha-Flight-Classic-Uncanny-X-Men%2Fdp%2F0785127461%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1208021075%26sr%3D8-1&tag=booofthelep-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">smaller trades</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=booofthelep-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> coming out, but a big, cheap collection of around 30 issues at a time would be mighty more convenient than waiting a year for another eight]<br /><b>The Essential <a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/search.php?form_search=great%20lakes%20avengers&form_searchtype=FullSite">Great Lakes Avengers</a></b><br /><b>The Essential New Warriors</b><br /><b>The Essential Speedball</b> [bet you didn't see that coming, did you?]<br /><b>The Awesome Slapstick!</b>[including <i>The Awesome Slapstick!</i> #1-4 and "Smells Like Teen Spirit," from <i>Marvel Comics Presents</i> #159-163]<br /></blockquote><br />Other:<br /><blockquote><b>Captain Canuck, Volume 1</b><br /></blockquote><br />So, what do you want to see?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-24907082449053710332008-04-08T13:26:00.021-04:002008-04-09T09:16:33.097-04:00A Tale of Two Invasions (An INFINITY WAR Crossover!)With all the recent hubbub (bub) over Marvel's <i><a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/title.php?ID=17655">Secret Invasion</a></i> crossover event this spring/summer, wherein the characters (as it's hard to call them all heroes in this age of cynicism, isn't it?) of the Marvel Universe <i>may or may not</i> have been replaced by shape-shifting <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skrull">Skrulls</a>, you might remember the last time something secret-y and invasion-y happened in a Marvel crossover: 1992's <i>Infinity War</i> event.<br /><br /><i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_War">Infinity War</a></i> concerned a villain named Magus and his machinations involving exact duplicates of some of Marvel's greatest heroes, including, oddly enough, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illuminati_%28Marvel_Comics%29">Tony Stark and Reed Richards</a>. The story wasn't anything remarkable, certainly nothing on the level of <i>Secret Invasion</i> - although, I was only 4 years old at the time of <i>Infinity War</i>, so fuck if I know if there was much hype on USENET or whatever.<br /><br />I haven't actually read <i>Infinity War</i>, but I certainly have the gall to call it <i>one of the greatest pieces of sequential art in the history of mankind</i>, even ahead of <a href="http://www.culture.gouv.fr/culture/arcnat/lascaux/en/">those cave paintings in France</a>. Why? Because it gave us this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uxQGxHC2I/AAAAAAAAA4E/JrDVFP4vDmI/s1600-h/NW27-cvr.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uxQGxHC2I/AAAAAAAAA4E/JrDVFP4vDmI/s400/NW27-cvr.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186934286099876706" border="0" /></a><br />Evil Speedball.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uyEGxHC3I/AAAAAAAAA4M/YTcPORscNX0/s1600-h/evilSPEEDBALL.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uyEGxHC3I/AAAAAAAAA4M/YTcPORscNX0/s400/evilSPEEDBALL.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186935179453074290" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">EVIL SPEEDBALL.<br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uy9GxHC4I/AAAAAAAAA4U/Yi_yI_0vDPk/s1600-h/uhoh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_uy9GxHC4I/AAAAAAAAA4U/Yi_yI_0vDPk/s400/uhoh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186936158705617794" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">EVIL SPEEDBALL!</span><br /><br />Yeesh. he's a real looker, ain't he? And dig that caption on the cover: <i>You didn't demand it, but you got it anyway--</i>. Considering how <i>some</i> people feel about ol' Robbie Baldwin around here, that's a line I may just make my official blog motto.<br /><br /><i>New Warriors</i> #27 is one of the essential stories in the Speedball canon. While the B-plot involves Speedy's buddy, Rage, having a crisis of conscience after slamming some punk's head through a windshield, the Speedball-centric issue sees the Masked Marvel return home to Springdale, Connecticut, only to find his old stomping grounds devastated, and the police finger him as the culprit! And, since it was the early nineties, we get this sight-gag courtesy of the sophisticated humor of penciller Darick Robertson.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_u2ymxHC5I/AAAAAAAAA4c/aq9Mj6XHqYM/s1600-h/doh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_u2ymxHC5I/AAAAAAAAA4c/aq9Mj6XHqYM/s400/doh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186940376363502482" border="0" /></a>I'll let you figure that one out.<br /><br />The police are led by Robbie Baldwin's father, a notorious anti-super-hero crusader who's just been looking for an excuse to pump some lead into the bouncing hero - thus logically explaining why the police would subscribe to the "shoot first, ask questions never" philosophy, and why Speedball can't just surrender himself to them. Although <i>how</i> the police can mistake the two, given their <i>very</i> different appearances, must be entirely an effect of comic book logic.<br /><br />Speedball escapes the sights of the police by using his kinetic field ("Speedball Effect") to sap all of the momentum out of their bullets, and heads over to the family home, fearing that his "evil twin" might be longing for some homecooking. Evil Speedball's already there and accosting his mother, looking to replace Robbie because - well, he feels like it, I guess. That's all the reason he needs, apparently.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vDI2xHC8I/AAAAAAAAA40/Q9ojeS_4I1Q/s1600-h/crud.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vDI2xHC8I/AAAAAAAAA40/Q9ojeS_4I1Q/s400/crud.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186953952755125186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Scattered amongst the fight is some faux-losophizing about having to become like your evil twin in order to defeat him, as well as the usual "I'm everything you don't like about yourself" bullshit, which doesn't make sense (unless this means that Evil Speeds is the living embodiment of <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/01/speedball-vs-war-on-crime-part-2.html">Robbie Baldwin's malice towards woodland creatures</a>) because Speedball certainly hasn't shown the urge to destroy things simply for the sake of destruction. Also, I really don't see how you could fight evil like crooks, gangsters, and super-villains (and, uh, <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/02/friday-night-fights-speedball-vs_22.html">giant birds</a>) unless you had a <i>hatred</i> of evil. It's like that <i><a href="http://www.davidbrin.com/starwarsarticle1.html">Star Wars</a></i><a href="http://www.davidbrin.com/starwarsarticle1.html"> bullshit about fear and anger and hate being the source of all evil in the universe</a> - never made any fucking sense to me. It's a ham-fisted effort to make New Warriors "deep" through force, instead of natural flow.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vChGxHC7I/AAAAAAAAA4s/Me-CRia4th8/s1600-h/shwoufwhump.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vChGxHC7I/AAAAAAAAA4s/Me-CRia4th8/s400/shwoufwhump.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186953269855325106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So anyway, Speedball kicks the crap out of "Blackball" (the impromptu nickname he gives Evil Speedball, which is sorely deficient in my opinion because it totally omits the word "evil"), and the double dissolves into a pile of dust. By sheer contrivance, this drains all of the strength from Speedy, forcing him to de-power into Robbie Baldwin so that his father can discover his secret identity.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vCK2xHC6I/AAAAAAAAA4k/Qfw4vbUMqUM/s1600-h/speedball.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_vCK2xHC6I/AAAAAAAAA4k/Qfw4vbUMqUM/s400/speedball.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186952887603235746" border="0" /></a><br /><br />See? I told you this was an essential Speedball story. His mother had known for months that he was a superhero, but his father's attitude toward "vigilantes" forced Robbie to hide it from him. This development would have Robbie moving to New York to stay with the New Warriors permanently, which would, in turn, lead to the origin of "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindsight_%28comics%29">Hindsight Lad</a>," which then led to much of the hatred against the New Warriors during and after <i>Civil War</i> when Hindsight set up DestroyAllWarriors.com, which exposed the heroes' true identities.<br /><br />So, way to go, Evil Speedball. You helped to totally screw over one of my favorite characters. I hope you're happy.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-88489587672765751912008-04-07T09:44:00.005-04:002008-04-07T09:52:58.356-04:00Smells Like Seen SpiritAt the risk of being an accomplice to film industry espionage - and the continuing risk that I run of turning this place into some kind of, I don't know, second-hand <i>Ain't It Cool News</i> - I've tracked down a site which had the foresight to save those pictures from the set of Frank Miller's <s>Sin City 2</s> adaptation of Will Eisner's <i>The Spirit</i>. <a href="http://entertainmentondvd.blogspot.com/2008/04/frank-millers-spirit-set-pictures.html">Click here if you missed 'em the first time around</a>, but be quick - who knows how many monkeys Lionsgate has trolling the 'net for this stuff?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-5735453152767912372008-04-04T01:56:00.005-04:002008-04-04T02:35:56.897-04:00Khaji-da!In case you missed it over at the Newsarama blog...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_XDV2xHC1I/AAAAAAAAA38/yuLLExqHOaE/s1600-h/batman-brave_and_bold.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_XDV2xHC1I/AAAAAAAAA38/yuLLExqHOaE/s400/batman-brave_and_bold.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185265326233160530" border="0" /></a>a<a href="http://blog.newsarama.com/2008/04/03/cartoon-network-confirms-batman-the-brave-and-the-bold/">n incarnation of the Blue Beetle will finally be showing up on your TV screens, in the latest Batman cartoon, <i>Batman: The Brave and the Bold</i></a>.<br /><br />While characters running the gamut from <a href="http://dcanimated.wikia.com/wiki/The_Creeper">The Creeper</a> and Booster Gold to <a href="http://dcanimated.wikia.com/wiki/Aztek">Aztek</a> and <a href="http://dcanimated.wikia.com/wiki/B%27wana_Beast">B'wana Beast</a> managed to get themselves cameos in the DCU in media other than comics, we have been denied any appearances of any of the Blue Beetles - neither Garrett, nor Kord, nor Reyes - in any form, whether it be <i>Justice League Unlimited</i>, or even <i>Teen Titans</i>. Why? Well, apparently <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox_Feature_Syndicate">Fox Feature Syndicate</a>, the company that created and owned the blue bug in the forties until they went kaput and sold the rights to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlton_Comics">Charlton</a>, had short-sightedly signed away the broadcasting rights to the character in order to produce a radio program. While I can only speculate, it would seem that they concluded that comic books were a fad, and were due for a crash sooner rather than later. It was, therefore, better to get their money now, and if that meant losing out on holding the rights to a worthless asset in a few years, than so be it.<br /><br />That license finally expired in 2006, but by then it was too late to feature him in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_League_Unlimited">JLU</a> - the cartoon had been canceled. Luckily for us Blue Beetle fans, though, no matter how many such shows are shit-canned, there will always be room for more Batman on our Saturday mornings.<br /><br />The case of Blue Beetle is pretty enlightening, actually. I used to believe that if you tried hard enough, and maybe wrote a few letters, you could get a cartoon or toy based on any character you wanted. After searching for information about the Blue Beetle rights, though, I came across <a href="http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=51372#51372">this post on the boards at Action Figure Insider</a>, and was thoroughly humbled. I wasn't really disappointed, though - I felt more informed, and less like DC had something explicitly some of my favorite characters. It was calming to find out that, sometimes, no matter how popular a character, or how much money you could make out of it, you just <i>can't</i> use something - even if you own the character! Who knew making action figures, or cartoons, could be so complicated?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-31838899275090779992008-04-03T00:02:00.005-04:002008-04-03T01:07:19.563-04:00"Unique Crime Fighting Methods"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RW_WxHCyI/AAAAAAAAA3k/i4nUziRP0TY/s1600-h/mountiees.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RW_WxHCyI/AAAAAAAAA3k/i4nUziRP0TY/s400/mountiees.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184864717453593378" border="0" /></a><br />At ten the next morning...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RjHWxHCzI/AAAAAAAAA3s/uPpHopmggMw/s1600-h/dfgf.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RjHWxHCzI/AAAAAAAAA3s/uPpHopmggMw/s400/dfgf.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184878049032080178" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RjfGxHC0I/AAAAAAAAA30/gkNZd9r-VRc/s1600-h/hahaha.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R_RjfGxHC0I/AAAAAAAAA30/gkNZd9r-VRc/s400/hahaha.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184878457053973314" border="0" /></a><br />And that's why there are no DC superheroes in Canada. Any more questions?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-66146947972193623482008-03-30T16:28:00.004-04:002008-03-30T16:42:24.331-04:00More Scholarly FunOmar Ha-Redeye and Jacob Kaufman reveal <i>The Lord of the Rings's</i> true nature as an epic story of property law at <a href="http://lawiscool.com/2008/03/29/lord-of-the-rings-as-property-law/">Law is Cool</a>:<blockquote>The novel <em>The Lord of the Rings</em> was a phenomenon. The movie trilogy based upon it has grossed over a billion dollars and won a slew of Oscars. <p>But what’s really interesting about the work is that it is about property law.</p></blockquote><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Here's a snippet from the post:</p><blockquote><p></p><strong>Hierarchy of Ownership and Possession</strong><br /><p> The Lord of the Rings story is that of a property hierarchy with one owner and a series of possessors.</p> <p>Biblo states,</p> <blockquote><p> [The Ring] is mine isn’t it? I found it.</p></blockquote> <p>He seems to be laying a claim of ownership through finding. But finding only lets a finder hold possession in a thing. It does not extinguish the rights of those higher up on the hierarchy.</p> <p>In <a href="http://home.uchicago.edu/%7Ermcnary/briefs/property/AndersonGouldberg/" target="_blank" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackVisit('/outbound/article/home.uchicago.edu');"><em>Anderson v. Gouldberg</em></a> it was found that “possession is good title against all the world except those having better title.” It does not matter that several of the possessors of the Ring like Isildur and Sméagol obtained possession by violently dispossessing others. That circumstance does not change the dispossessor’s rights vis-à-vis a third party.</p> <p>The fact that all parties subsequent to Sauron hold only possession in the ring is acknowledged in the text. When Gandalf forces Biblo to give up the Ring, he tells him to,</p> <blockquote><p>[s]top possessing [the Ring].</p></blockquote> <p>After discovering that Aragorn is the heir of Isildur Frodo exclaims that the Ring really belongs to Aragorn. Aragon corrects him:</p> <blockquote><p>It does not belong to either of us, but it has been ordained that you should hold it for a while.</p></blockquote> <p>Frodo later elaborates that the Ring,</p> <blockquote><p> does not belong to any mortal … though if any could claim it, it would be Aragorn.</p></blockquote> <p>Here he demonstrates his understanding of the property hierarchy – with Sauron at the apex as owner and Aragorn as next highest as a descendent of the first possessor after Sauron.</p><p></p><p></p></blockquote>This is just the kind of stuff that I'd be doing if I was in law school.<br /><br /><a href="http://lawiscool.com/2008/03/29/lord-of-the-rings-as-property-law/">Read the whole thing over at Law is Cool</a>.<br /><br />(HT: <a href="http://www.geekpress.com/">GeekPress</a>)BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-25701574012436010432008-03-30T15:43:00.003-04:002008-03-30T15:45:08.236-04:00Losing My Readership...one LOL at a time.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-_tfmxHCvI/AAAAAAAAA3M/Kveq9eAkx6A/s1600-h/snikt.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-_tfmxHCvI/AAAAAAAAA3M/Kveq9eAkx6A/s400/snikt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183622823364987634" border="0" /></a>BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-41301190764276682432008-03-28T21:17:00.007-04:002008-03-28T21:29:01.441-04:00Friday Night Fights: Slapstick WeekOne thing you might be surprised to learn about <a href="http://bahlactus.com/">Bahlactus</a> (other than his ability to <a href="http://bahlactus.com/2008/03/fnf-knockout-rnd12/">connect with the youth of today</a>) is that the man makes a damn fine cup of coffee:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2Z8mxHCrI/AAAAAAAAA2s/Jjk00PX4Hn0/s1600-h/coffee1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2Z8mxHCrI/AAAAAAAAA2s/Jjk00PX4Hn0/s400/coffee1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182968012651039410" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2aKmxHCsI/AAAAAAAAA20/byKhjqmyHNo/s1600-h/coffee2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2aKmxHCsI/AAAAAAAAA20/byKhjqmyHNo/s400/coffee2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182968253169208002" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2aZGxHCtI/AAAAAAAAA28/d0D2ruo_pBs/s1600-h/coffee3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2aZGxHCtI/AAAAAAAAA28/d0D2ruo_pBs/s400/coffee3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182968502277311186" border="0" /></a><br />Fine enough to <i>kill</i> for.<br /><br />SPECIAL BONUS BOUT!<br /><br />You didn't think I'd forget, did you?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2a92xHCuI/AAAAAAAAA3E/NiwCBsUuz5o/s1600-h/speedslap.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-2a92xHCuI/AAAAAAAAA3E/NiwCBsUuz5o/s400/speedslap.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182969133637503714" border="0" /></a>It just wouldn't be the Fights at <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com">BMP</a> without Speedball, The Masked Marvel!BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-56981229012937889162008-03-27T22:37:00.020-04:002010-04-07T14:51:36.811-04:00Slapstick Week: Where are they now?Sometimes, <a href="http://2e930cjnyhqb7waza-5jsh0yah.hop.clickbank.net/">comic</a> book characters are not well-received, and subsequently fade away; their solo series are canceled, and they're relegated to existing only as entries at the back-end of a volume of "Who's Who in the DCU" or "Handbook to the Marvel Universe." Sometimes, though, these characters aren't that bad, they just happen to be disliked by the Powers-That-Be, and no amount of popularity or profit can bring them back to the world of the relevant (I think I might be tempted to call this the "Quesada Effect" if it didn't apply equally to DC's editorial mandate to degrade and eventually kill every single member of Justice League International). Case in point: Slapstick.<br /><br />As I mentioned in an <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/03/secret-origin-of-slapstick.html">earlier post</a>, Slapstick was apparently voted as the <a href="http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix2/slapstick.htm">best new Marvel character of 1992</a>, beating out Carnage for the title. So, you'd expect Slapstick to be given a solo series after his four-issue debut, maybe give him a chance to defend his title? No dice. Slapstick was, for all intents and purposes, never seen again. Oh sure, he showed up a few times in the pages of <i>Marvel Comics Presents</i>, where he joined up with the New Warriors (the super-team that gave a second chance to another short-changed hero Speedball), but since then, there's been nothing. Nothing. NOTHING!<br /><br />Well, almost nothing. The <i>Civil War</i> event has made a habit out of taking previously established heroes and completely subverting them, having them behave in ways that send their fans into convulsive seizures. <i>Civil War</i> <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2007/12/greatest-super-hero-story-ever-told.html">turned Iron man into a fascist; Captain America into a reckless, irrational nut</a>; <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/01/speedball-vs-committment.html">bouncy bouncy fun fun Speedball into a masochistic bore</a>; and <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/01/comics-that-have-pissed-me-off-issue-2.html">Spider-man into someone who's willing to do anything to avoid dealing with the responsibility of his actions</a>. Yeesh.<br /><br />Continuing in that fine tradition of <a href="http://c2134iiapflg4oi6ttk9-90jpj.hop.clickbank.net/">artistic ruination</a> comes <i>Civil War</i>'s destruction of the one, the only, Slapstick. Within the pages of Marvel's <i>Avengers: The Initiative,</i> a character who's called Slapstick, and resembles Slapstick, lurks - but he sure as hell ain't <i>my</i> Slapstick. Let's take a look:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-xwUWxHCqI/AAAAAAAAA2k/BL0FvJLZsX4/s1600-h/slapinit.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-xwUWxHCqI/AAAAAAAAA2k/BL0FvJLZsX4/s400/slapinit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182640766207855266" border="0" /></a><br /><br />What the purple hell - why is Slapstick wearing fatigues!? Why did he even <i>join</i> the initiative? He wasn't what you'd call a "hero." He only intervened when it affected him directly, or if he found it amusing. And why does he need training? He's shown time and time again that he can survive having a hole blasted into him by a rocket launcher, being punted by The Thing, being repeatedly electrocuted, being set on fire... there isn't a lot that can kill him when he's in his "electroplasm" state. And since he <i>never</i> appears as Steve Harmon at the Initiative's base, this could mean that Stark doesn't even know who he really is, or what gives him his powers - so how can he possibly be a threat to him? There is simply no reason to believe that <i>Slapstick</i> would ever willingly register with the government.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-xvw2xHCpI/AAAAAAAAA2c/KUYz6SUhxl8/s1600-h/omg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-xvw2xHCpI/AAAAAAAAA2c/KUYz6SUhxl8/s400/omg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182640156322499218" border="0" /></a><br /><br />While I'm grateful that Slapstick is making another appearance in Marvel continuity, this character might as well be Deadpool as far as I'm concerned. I haven't seen him do <i>anything</i> that could qualify as "cartoonish." The only scene that made me laugh was in <i>Initiative</i> #5, where Slapstick responds to Constrictor's insult when he calls the recruits the "kids that thought they could take on the Hulk" with "actually, they were - I just went along because everyone else was doing it and I wanted to be popular." And I think you'll agree that that's a pretty <i>weak</i> joke for Slapstick to make.<br /><br />The Marvel climate after <i>Civil War</i> is not the place for Slapstick to participate in - Slapstick, being a comedic/satiric character, should be a <i>commenter</i> on the Marvel U. He should be looking at the seriousness of these comics from the outside and subverting it, making us wonder why Marvel comics <i>aren't</i> actually to be taken as fun anymore, but as serious, brooding texts where <b>serious</b> things happen and everyone is <b>seriously</b> not in the mood for Slapstick's shit. If you'll recall <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/03/science-of-slapstick.html">my post on why I thought Slapstick succeeded as a comedic character</a>, then you'll remember that the most important part of <i>Slapstick</i> was irreverence. When Slapstick begins to respect what was previously mocked, he's no longer Slapstick. Now he's just insane.<br /><br />I am so sick of comic writers taking previously established characters and, rather than giving them situations which might believably change their attitudes or beliefs (like when James Robinson turned Mikaal Tomas, one of the many Starmen, into a withdrawn, abused, former drug addict in the pages of <i>Starman</i>), simply change the character to fit whatever plot they've devised (I'm looking at Spider-man again). I'm not disparaging plot-driven stories at all, I'm just saying that if you're writing "Indiana Jones and the Book of Infinite Jest," you better keep Indiana Jones' personality in mind when you write the scene in which he encounters The Joker. If you want to have the man who encounters the Joker grovel in fear at the majesty of the Clown Prince of Crime in order to establish his fearsomeness - or something - then you probably shouldn't be using Dr. Jones for that one, because Indy ain't that kinda guy.<br /><br />And Slapstick ain't even physically capable of being held in a prison cell, never mind being the kind of guy to sit quietly and wait to be interrogated.<br /><br />You know what kind of heroes <i>would</i> register with the government and join the Initiative? <a href="http://www.greatlakesavengers.com/">The Great Lakes Avengers</a>. And they did just that back in <i>Cable and Deadpool.</i> But they're completely ineffectual. They would be just the right sort of group to have to go through training with the Initiative, even though they wouldn't provide nearly the level of "angst" that the writers are going for. Maybe they could have just added <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_girl">Squirrel Girl</a>, or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doorman_%28comics%29">Doorman</a> - Doorman doesn't take a lot of things seriously, and Squirrel Girl is sweet and innocent. If they were looking for characters who would lighten the mood of <i>The Initiative</i>, those two would have been fine. Hell, you could re-write the entire run up 'til now with Squirrel Girl, and you wouldn't have to change a thing, since Squirrely had a crush on Speedball, and would have been just as likely as Slapstick was to attack Gauntlet for disparaging the name of the New Warriors. She actually has a bit of a vicious streak already, if you ask me - or Doctor Doom.<br /><br />So, there ya go - Slapstick isn't dead, but he might as well be. Disagree with me? Think you can justify the complete change in Slapstick's character? Put your comments where - uh, well, where the comments are. In what conceivable universe would Slapstick ever agree to attend boot camp?BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-74957085365017101482008-03-27T14:09:00.003-04:002008-03-27T14:21:37.198-04:00Come For Your Trial, Stay For the CorruptionLet's take a brief break from Slapstick Week for just a few minutes, because the Newsarama blog just picked up on something interesting: <a href="http://blog.newsarama.com/2008/03/27/come-visit-the-real-gotham-city/">a New York City councilman wants to officially name "Gotham City" as NYC's primary nickname</a>, in order to capitalize on the release of this summer's Batman flick, <i>The Dark Knight</i>.<br /><br />That's just a bad idea all around. Gotham City is not a nice place. If you're not being accosted by a psychopathic clown while waiting for the subway, you've got to watch your back for the crazy in the bat costume who thinks you've got a connection to somebody's Al Ghul. Then there's the justice system, which, despite the aforementioned crazy's efforts to eschew any real political reform and stick with beating the crap out of ugly people, has yet to keep anyone in jail long enough for them to become homesick. This is the last fictional place in the world that you want associated with your hometown.<br /><br />I mean, even if this councilor believes the comparison to be apt, do you really want to advertise it?<br /><br />Contrary to the popular colloquialism, bad publicity is only that - <i>bad</i>. Say no to Gotham.BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31779326.post-60825754397005651052008-03-26T22:25:00.007-04:002008-03-26T22:49:32.331-04:00The Science of Slapstick<p class="MsoNormal">I am all about the slapstick humour. Ever since I was first introduced to the Three Stooges in my formative years, it has been an essential part of who I am. There is truly no greater comedy than a subtle, delicate slap to the face with a blunt object. Shows like <i>Earthworm Jim</i>, <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freakazoid">Freakazoid</a></i>, and <i>Pinky and the Brain</i> still hold special places in my comically oversized heart. So it should come as no surprise, if you’re familiar with the little fella, that I enjoy the hell out of <a href="http://blackmarketpies.blogspot.com/2008/03/secret-origin-of-slapstick.html">Marvel Comics' Slapstick</a>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When slapstick comedy is done well, it’s friggin’ hilarious. But you have to have particularly good timing, and at least as good a wit, to get it right. For instance, superficially, one wouldn’t see too much of a difference between the antics in Animaniacs and those in the earlier Looney Toons shorts – but there’s a huge, glaring gulf between their types of humor. The original Bugs Bunny cartoons just cannot elicit laughter from me. Maybe it’s because there were no network censors back then, or that no one was particularly worried that kids might copy what they saw on the screen, that allowed them to use anvils and dynamite so indiscriminately. But I can sort of articulate why it doesn’t work for me: it’s too <i>obvious</i>. It’s too fantastic. There’s no heart in it. But most importantly? It lacks <i>intelligence</i>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are three things that are essential for slapstick to be funny to me: irreverence, wit, and the nature of the violence itself. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Irreverence is an example of incongruity: that is, something that occurs but which is not consistent with what we would expect. For example, we expect people to treat Daredevil with respect, and to be afraid of Ghost Rider: Slapstick does neither.</p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sID2xHClI/AAAAAAAAA18/eFiJIT5hZi8/s1600-h/blind.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sID2xHClI/AAAAAAAAA18/eFiJIT5hZi8/s400/blind.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182244658554014290" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal">The key to irreverence, of course, is that the target of your satire, or violence, has to command respect, without actually deserving it. Ayn Rand once wrote on humor (and you can read these and other writings at The <a href="http://aynrandlexicon.com/">Ayn Rand Lexicon</a>):</p> <p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote>“Humor is not an unconditional virtue; its moral character depends on its object. To laugh at the contemptible, is a virtue; to laugh at the good, is a hideous vice. Too often, humor is used as the camouflage of moral cowardice.”</blockquote><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">She later added on a separate occasion :</p><blockquote>Humor is the denial of metaphysical importance to that which you laugh at. The classic example: you see a very snooty, very well dressed dowager walking down the street, and then she slips on a banana peel … What's funny about it? It's the contrast of the woman's pretensions to reality. She acted very grand, but reality undercut it with a plain banana peel. That's the denial of the metaphysical validity or importance of the pretensions of that woman. Therefore, humor is a destructive element—which is quite all right, but its value and its morality depend on what it is that you are laughing at. If what you are laughing at is the evil in the world (provided that you take it seriously, but occasionally you permit yourself to laugh at it), that's fine. [To] laugh at that which is good, at heroes, at values, and above all at yourself [is] monstrous … The worst evil that you can do, psychologically, is to laugh at yourself. That means spitting in your own face.</blockquote><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In this way, the pretensions of <a href="http://www.marvel.com/universe/Ghost_Rider_%28John_Blaze%29">Ghost Rider</a> are undercut in <i>Slapstick</i>#4 by the fact that he’s simply a character in a comic book, and deserves no more respect than Slapstick himself does. If Ghost Rider were to exist in the "real world," he would be quite a terrifying figure indeed - but he would also be a man with a perpetually flaming skull:<br /></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sGF2xHCjI/AAAAAAAAA1s/3Tnt63aWvaY/s1600-h/slapstickcometh.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sGF2xHCjI/AAAAAAAAA1s/3Tnt63aWvaY/s400/slapstickcometh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182242493890497074" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"> This irreverence is also seen in <i>Slapstick</i> #2, featuring the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_punisher">Punisher</a> caricature, “The Overkiller:” a comic book character who never smiles is taken down a few pegs by a comic book character who seems to never <i>stop</i> smiling. Slapstick mocks the overly-serious nature of the anti-hero, and his illogical dedication to becoming a criminal in order to wipe out crime.</p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sJZ2xHCmI/AAAAAAAAA2E/1baRc65DysI/s1600-h/shlorp.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sJZ2xHCmI/AAAAAAAAA2E/1baRc65DysI/s400/shlorp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182246136022764130" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal">The original Looney Tunes used wit, but it was – well, very good, really. I can recall a scene where Wile E. Coyote has been blown up, and then knocks on Bugs Bunny’s door, announcing “My name is mud.” Bugs turns to the audience in an aside before the clip irises out, and says, “Mud spelled backwards is dum[b].” That has to be the <i>least</i> funniest Looney Tunes gag that I have ever seen, because the irreverence was not specific to Wile E. Coyote, did not play off of his pretensions, and forced Wile to say something that he had no reason to say. Irreverence has to point out the subject’s failings or fallacies to be successful.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But, like Northrop Frye explained in his paper, “The Nature of Satire,” (published in the University of Toronto Quarterly, Vol.14, Oct. 1949) irreverence is not enough to make something funny, because irreverence can also include vitriolic invective:</p><blockquote>...it is the tone that makes a work of art a satire...To have too much hatred and too little gaiety will upset the balance of tone.</blockquote><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>This is where wit comes in. Wit can turn something appalling into something hilarious. Take this set of panels:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sGu2xHCkI/AAAAAAAAA10/h2nKVPZdrcQ/s1600-h/war.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sGu2xHCkI/AAAAAAAAA10/h2nKVPZdrcQ/s400/war.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182243198265133634" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, we’ve all seen the “this means war” bit in Looney Tunes cartoons, but it’s the intertexuality (oh, god! Oh, god! Postmodern theory is creeping in! Let’s get this over with as quickly as possible...) that gives it new life here. First, there’s the acknowledgment that Slapstick is, indeed, inspired by the cartoon characters of the past. Then there’s the even <i>funnier</i> allusion to the modus operandi of the Punisher: his “war on crime,” and his history as a war veteran.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Of course, a big part of the wit is actually in that <i>incongruity</i> I mentioned earlier. Check out this character: the Neutron Bum. A better name for a villain I have yet to see. Villains are usually after revenge, or millions of dollars: the Neutron Bum, however, only wants a cup of coffee:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sKimxHCnI/AAAAAAAAA2M/dDVpIEhpZUQ/s1600-h/neutronbum.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sKimxHCnI/AAAAAAAAA2M/dDVpIEhpZUQ/s400/neutronbum.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182247385858247282" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The final component of successful slapstick, which is evident in Slapstick (naturally), is the violence itself. The violence has to be of a certain type – Sweeney Todd type mayhem will offend more than it will tickle, and the funniest parts of movies like <i>Army of Darkness</i> are the homages to the Three Stooges. Slapstick comedy, above all, cannot <i>hurt</i> or <i>permanently damage</i> their victims. Whether this is achieved through innocuous acts of violence like the Stooges’ face-slaps and nose-tweaks, or by introducing incongruity and turning a horrifically violent act into a harmless annoyance (a la Wile E. Coyote and explosives), doesn't matter. Slapstick straddles this line well, even in the mostly realistic world of the Marvel Universe:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sLAmxHCoI/AAAAAAAAA2U/nVEDOqdyCAE/s1600-h/aaaaaeeee.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fkUVVef8Mh8/R-sLAmxHCoI/AAAAAAAAA2U/nVEDOqdyCAE/s400/aaaaaeeee.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182247901254322818" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A film or comic can be violent, but without wit, it isn’t funny. Take the original Looney Toons cartoons, for instance. Sure, they’re funny to kids, but why do I enjoy Freakazoid and Pinky and the Brain where I don’t enjoy Looney Toons? Well, Looney Toons lacks intelligence. People get blown up with dynamite, shot in the ass, dropped out of airplanes – but the quips aren’t exactly Oscar Wilde. And the wit can fall flat if it doesn’t include “the denial of metaphysical importance” to an object of attack. Without these, the violence is simply perplexing – something which may have helped provoke the moral crusaders who saw cartoons as nothing but trash for the mind. <i>Slapstick</i> isn’t the funniest stuff around, but it contains all of the elements – in my opinion, whatever that’s worth <span style=""> </span>– <span style=""> </span>that give it staying power.</p>BlackmarketPieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13848974923031379441noreply@blogger.com2