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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Things That Make My Day, Volume 1

A new post on Craigslist, a post of the "ignore me, because I am so not familiar with the industry" variety, has elicited a response that warmed the cockles of my thoroughly-desiccated heart. Here's the original post:

Date: 2007-12-05, 12:33PM EST


****** PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND OR EMAIL INQUIRIES TO THIS POST!*******


BLACKBOOK PRESS, Toronto's NEWEST publishing house, is now accepting submissions from LOCAL FEMALE WRITERS ONLY.

SPECIFICATIONS:

-- Novels only (250-400 pages)
-- Hardcopy only (8/11 typed, double spaced, single-side, bound)
-- Mystery/Thriller -- must include some measure or erotic elements
-- Include SASE envelop if you wish your manuscript returned.
-- Must have contact information and photo of the author.
*** We encourage submitters to include a number they can be TEXTED at. **

We are primarily and most-eagerly seeking PULPCULTURE-style writing as seen in the dime-store novel era with a blend of ominous sex/violence, private-detectives femme-fatale, engenue et al. Supernatural elements are welcome as long as they are not the driving force behind the work. Please avoid the derivative, pedantic, cliche, plagiarism. We are also looking for writing that goes BEYOND the typical market (reading level generally grade 7-9 reading level).

This is a FEMALE WRITERS market only. Please no male submissions or they will be considered the property of the press, or destroyed. No decoys, ghost-writing.

COMPENSATION: Negotiable based on the length, quality and prospects of the work and the author themselves. First rights reserved, royalty, commission.

Anxious to find someone profilific/semi-prolific rather than one-trick ponies, someone we can market ongoingly and help build a market for.

****** PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND OR EMAIL INQUIRIES TO THIS POST!*******

POST ALL SUBMISSIONS TO:

MASQUERADE BOOKS
BLACKBOOK PRESS
C/O DANIELLE SPEARS
95 THORNCLIFFE
SUITE 2201
TORONTO ONTARIO
M4H 1L7


And here's one user's answer:

Date: 2007-12-05, 1:24PM EST


How typical, how Canadian -- a start-up publishing venture that excludes a full half of the male population and doesn't have a clue about the commercial realities of the market, one that exists for the egotistical vision of some dilettante. Shall we guess? Barring men is a requirement of the government grant, which is the only thing that will keep you afloat, or your own biases? An amateur operation nonetheless, because your ad is full of spelling and grammar mistakes. Plus you insult would-be authors by suggesting some could be "one trick ponies." Nice of you to insult readers, too, with that myth about a grade 7 to 9 reading level.

Oh, and by the way, this nonsense over the male fool who does submit to you...? You'll claim the work as your "property"??? Really? So are we to infer you'll publish it and keep the profits, even though you have no legal right to do so? Please go ahead. Hopefully, you'll get sued. Can't wait to see you crash and burn when you discover the real challenges of publishing.


Good times.

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