A Real American Wuss-Out
Hey guys! Guess what? G.I. JOE is a creation of teh military-industrial complex of The Great Satan, and your childhood was probably just asking to be raped.
Paramount has confirmed that in the movie, the name G.I. Joe will become an acronym for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity" — an international, coed task force charged with defeating bad guys. It will no longer stand for government issued, as in issued by the American government.
The word is that in the current political climate, they're afraid that a heroic U.S. soldier won't fly.
If you're going to do "G.I. JOE," you go ahead and you do G.I. fucking JOE, not "U.N. Peacekeeping Super-Buddies." Batman Begins didn't change Batman into a social worker handing out bread to "less fortunate" criminals, and guess what? Hey, it was actually successful! Do justice to the property, and it'll be a good movie. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of an "American Hero," go procure the rights to "Captain Planet" and leave G.I. JOE alone.